Into the light

Well one thing about myself I do like-- I don't stay down for very long. Yeah I've been going through some ill s*** lately (see the previous post) but at this point, I am looking at some of the things that are going right for a change.

• A music video I shot in collaboration with a buddy of mine is probably gonna get aired on the international music channels...
• The movie I shot last year is finally done... Now we just have to shop it around and get some sort of deal.
• StreetSide Media is becoming well-known around here... Went to a few places in the past week and broke out my demo or business card, and a few people already knew about us. Not bad!

I still have no job... but then again I do--StreetSide-- I just need to start the hustle so it can be a sole source of revenue for us.
You know, I never used to really believe in the devil; I still don't. But I do believe in negative energy and that's everywhere right now. To avoid it, surround yourself with positive energy and feelings.

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暗い場所から出たい！

Forgive me for not writing.... Lately.

If anyone ever reads this... and gives a damn... Then understand...

Take whatever pain you've experienced in your life, it could be physical... mental... it can be personal, or empathised. Whatever that pain is, its what I've been feeling for the past month...

I've lost so much this month. A job. A friend. An aunt. A grandma. so much has been ripped from me over the past 4 weeks, and I cannot cry anymore. Im just numb. The pain has dulled my emotions and I'm afraid I can't feel anything right now.

There is no one to tell me sweet things like "it'll be ok" or "that how life is sometimes". No "I'll be there for you" or "Let me buy you a drink" Just dull pain... Not even the pain sometimes though.... Just hollow emptiness.

And in that hollowed out place, only the strained echoes of the voices of those I loved that are now gone can be heard. It's such a sad and lonely place. Like a deserted island with no water, no sound, no sky and no land. Just empty space, a vast void without light, sound, taste or smell...

I miss them... so much.... It makes me miss all those that have gone before them too... I miss them all terribly.

You can't understand me... Don't even try, 'cause I don't care anymore. I stopped giving a damn when all my hard work... All my heart and soul got thrown back into my face by self-serving, hating, careless sons-and-daughters-of-dirty-gutter-trash. This is what you get when you rip someone's heart out... When you take their very essence and piss on it and leave it for dead on the side of the road.... This is what happens... When a man's hopes... and dreams... loves... and pleasures... desires... and wishes... totally... evaporate.

Thanks bitches, Thanks a lot.

If I ever make it outta this dark place I find myself in, I'll thank the few people that help me along the way... As for everyone else.... Well I don't have enough middle fingers because God only gave me two...

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The Question Has An Answer... Another Question.

Current mood: melancholy

Want-- something desired, not necessarily a necessity to exist.

Need-- something needed to exist, not necessarily a item that is desired.

Ponder that for a moment, a minute, a lifetime even. You still won't get it. This is the original human enigma, a paradox for the ages.

This is the secret to happiness, success, long life, long love. This is the fountain of youth, the holy grail, a wonder of the world.

This is the secret to life... Yet its also a puzzle that no one is able to answer, and in all likelyhood, unanswerable.

You could choose to spend the rest of your time on this planet trying to figure it out.

Or be like me, and just be.

Currently listening : As If We Existed By Solillaquists of Sound Release date: By 26 September, 2006

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