What the hell is up with dating in Nagoya??

The following is an excerpt from a conversation on Facebook I've been having with a fellow foreigner here in Nagoya, Japan about trying to date girls here. I've been here for about 5 months now, and although I have gotten numerous phone numbers, I have yet to go out on a SINGLE date. I speak decent Japanese, read decent Japanese, understand certain subtle nuances in culture, etc. Also I have dated several girls in other parts of Japan... In fact, this is the first time IN MY LIFE that I've had this problem, and its extremely frustrating. But as I found out after talking to several others here, both Japanese and foreign, this is more common than I thought... Read on....


DB

February 12 at 2:20pm

Some girls will be creeped out no matter what because you're a gaijin. There is no failproof way to go but there are certain things you can do to increase your success rate.

And Japanese skills are a MUST HAVE if you want the best looking ones. With good Japanese skills your range increases 90%. The gaijin hunters in the bars and etc will tolerate shitty Japanese but the real 美人 [beautiful girls] need a man in control of his environment; and language is just a part of it.

ME

February 12 at 2:50pm

well my japanese skills are pretty decent-- i speak mostly osaka/kansai-ben when in chill mode though. of course i can speak teigo and even keigo when needed; ive been studying japanese since jr high. im not new to japan, just new to nagoya.

my problem lies with the level of flakyness with girls here compared to places like osaka, tokyo and even hiroshima and kagoshima. they ask for my phone# then just plain make excuses *not* to hang out. or make plans and at the last minute, cancel... once or twice i can see, but all the time. frustrating to say the least.

im really considering moving back to kansai because of it.

Sent via Facebook Mobile

DB

February 12 at 9:34pm

Hahahahahahaha. THANK YOU.

I told that to SO many people (including Japanese) in Nagoya. I've been to both Osaka and Tokyo, and some other rural places too, but why is it that when I approach someone here in Nagoya they get all anal?

It's just a completely different vibe in other parts of the country; I know. Nagoyans all deny it of course, but ask even other Japanese living here but who come from other prefectures and they'll say the same thing.

In Nagoya I've found that your Japanese skills, game, prettyness and etc don't really matter that much. People here usually get together through introductions from friends and other social connections like work, clubs, コンパ and etc.


ME

February 15 at 11:44pm

Aint that the truth. I too have heard that from a lot of folks both Japanese and Gaijin here. It's the strangest damn thing I've ever encountered in this country (and I'm the king of Strange-land) So much so, I've been toying with the idea of moving the hell outta this strange place and back into some familiarity-- my love life sucks right now (read: non-existent) simply because every girl in this damn place has no self-confidence and assumes that I am banging every chick here already. No, I'm not. Maybe I *would like to* (what guy doesn't have that thought?) but can I just start with one please?

Then there's the other chicks that are stuck on some "I just want a black guy" thing and chase after my ass thinking all I think about is Jay-Z, 50 cent, and baggy ass jeans all day. No dammit! I'm not from Jamaica either-- just 'cause I wear dreds doesn't mean I'm from the carribean-- In fact almost every dude I met FROM Jamaica DOES NOT HAVE DREDS!! Quit thinkin' that shit! And quit chasin' me just 'cause I'm black! I'm not chasin' you just 'cause you're Japanese-- I'm chasin' cute girls--black, white, yellow, brown, red, orange, purple, striped, and polka-dotted. If the girl is cute, then she can catch it. If she's ugly, nope! And there are some ugly-ass Japanese women, contrary to popular belief. The ugly : cute ratio is just MUCH better here than it is in the States.

So what do y'all think? Holla back.

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