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21 March 2007

Time Machine/I know I'm not alone

You know the good thing about a blog? I can go back into time through it. I can go back and review all the things that I entered into this digital continuum here and review, reflect, and ponder. I can use it as a checkpoint to gauge whether I am headed to the same places that I talked about a year or five ago.

Recently, I met someone whose life is so similar to mine, it's frightening... And that says a lot, because for those of you who know me personally, nothing really shocks me anymore. She has gone through some serious turbulence in her short lifetime that would make the average person wanna go jump off the tallest object around them. She told me stories of both unrequited love and of relationships starting and ending.

If you dig through this blog far enough, you'll see I went through a hard breakup with my ex-girl. And sure there have been girls since her, but none I really would consider worth the effort to write about here. (OK I don't mean that in the sense that they're worthless; quite the opposite really.) We're all God's children, and they were/are/will always mean something to me... But they just didn't have "it". I can't explain what "it" is, but I know "it" when I feel it. And for the first time in 3 years, I felt "it" again.

I was taught not to be concerned with the way things come into your life; that's trivial stuff. If you're having trouble with this concept, think of money... Now when you need money, and I mean really need money, you don't care how it ends up in your hands-- you need it to survive. So if an armored car suddenly hits a bump and spills its cargo, you'd take the money to feed your child... You're not caring how it got there, you just need to feed your babies. Well the same concept applies to life experiences.

See the way I met her wasn't weird-- it was that I could sense so much from her when I talked to her. I really would like to say more here, but I need to keep her anonymity intact for now. I don't wanna put her business out there like that. But understand this: When people say they met their true love, their equal, and they felt that feeling... Well after 5 minutes of talking to her, I sensed so much. I'm not joking, and those people are telling the truth...

Here's the funny part-- we didn't spend so much time together while she was here (she lives elsewhere) but it was that the time we spent meant so much... I miss her so much right now. See it's not the feeling of a physical thing (although she is totally hot) It's more the feeling of meeting your equal. ...Could she be "Her"? Well that I'm not sure of. There's been cases where I thought "she may be 'The One'" but something like prior commitments, extreme distance, and succumbing to cultural differences took them all out of the game. But this one, this time, just seems way different. Like I don't have to worry-- I really can't explain it. All I know is that we are the same mentally, creatively and spiritually (notice I didn't say physically-- She's waaaaaaay hotter than I can even imagine!)

Now I'm not saying we'll be some sort of couple or anything (but I damn sure wouldn't mind, right?) I'm saying that she seems closer to my heart and soul than anyone has ever been in a long time and I cannot explain how or why right now. ...And this sort of thing needs no explanation. It simply is. If you're reading this-- I miss you, and I'm always here for you. But you know that baby.
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