J7TV powered by StreetSide Media

21 July 2007


Forgive me for not writing.... Lately.

If anyone ever reads this... and gives a damn... Then understand...

Take whatever pain you've experienced in your life, it could be physical... mental... it can be personal, or empathised. Whatever that pain is, its what I've been feeling for the past month...

I've lost so much this month. A job. A friend. An aunt. A grandma. so much has been ripped from me over the past 4 weeks, and I cannot cry anymore. Im just numb. The pain has dulled my emotions and I'm afraid I can't feel anything right now.

There is no one to tell me sweet things like "it'll be ok" or "that how life is sometimes". No "I'll be there for you" or "Let me buy you a drink" Just dull pain... Not even the pain sometimes though.... Just hollow emptiness.

And in that hollowed out place, only the strained echoes of the voices of those I loved that are now gone can be heard. It's such a sad and lonely place. Like a deserted island with no water, no sound, no sky and no land. Just empty space, a vast void without light, sound, taste or smell...

I miss them... so much.... It makes me miss all those that have gone before them too... I miss them all terribly.

You can't understand me... Don't even try, 'cause I don't care anymore. I stopped giving a damn when all my hard work... All my heart and soul got thrown back into my face by self-serving, hating, careless sons-and-daughters-of-dirty-gutter-trash. This is what you get when you rip someone's heart out... When you take their very essence and piss on it and leave it for dead on the side of the road.... This is what happens... When a man's hopes... and dreams... loves... and pleasures... desires... and wishes... totally... evaporate.

Thanks bitches, Thanks a lot.

If I ever make it outta this dark place I find myself in, I'll thank the few people that help me along the way... As for everyone else.... Well I don't have enough middle fingers because God only gave me two...
Share |